The not-so-sick spy

Our gallant heroes have their hands on the Ghostlord’s Phylactery. Or the Ghostly Phallus, or the Phallus Factory, or Horcrux or some damn thing. Either way, they are unsure what to do with it, and decide the head back down south towards the villages full of frightened refugees to find someone who can help them out with this ancient, mystical artefact. Those elves, steeped in arcane lore, can go screw themselves.

Several days uneventful travel sees the party approaching Witchcross, where they discover wounded refugees being loaded onto carts by clerics of Pelor. Doomsayer Brynn proves the wrong person to ask for aid.

From the nearby inn a tall figure swathed in ornate robes approaches. “Are you Stupid, Reckless and Overwhelmed?” the newcomer asks. “No” lies Habbakuk: “We are Clever, Cautious and On-top.”

The stranger explains he is a wizard named Artheon, and has been following the party Their reputation is growing it seems. He has knowledge of the phylactery they carry and is willing to help. At this point Brynn is approached by a smoking hot redhead who gazes up at him in awe. “Are you him? The mighty leader of the Saviours of Drellin’s Ferry?” Brynn is seized by the urge to go away and do secret things.

The girl, named Miha, begs to join the party, and Brynn for one is convinced. Everyone else is convinced that, as an attractive NPC, she is obviously evil and should be killed at once. Cynics.

The party then repair to the local inn, Miha in tow, and discuss how to deal with the Phylactery. It seems just destroying it won’t help as the lich will simply re-absorb his soul fragment.

Apocalypsia finally tires of Miha’s simpering and attempts to blast her. Brynn throws himself in front of the bolt, and all hell breaks loose. Villagers rush to defend the poor innocent Miha, who kisses Brynn passionately in gratitude. He has never before seen so beautiful a woman.

Unarmed innocent civilians are mown down by our heroic adventurers whilst Brynn and others are seized with the compulsion to attack their own comrades. People leap through windows, munchkin powers combine in hideous synergy to screw with the DMs plans. Miha summons a large crow and sends it aloft carrying a message. Apocalypsia, at extreme range, turns it into a red cloud of feathers. Miha doesn’t last much longer. And neither does the sole remaining witness, an injured refugee.

But who was this mysterious succubus spy? Why was she so interested in the party, what message was she sending and what will the party do next?

Tune in next time…

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